I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dyin'.

Caution: This may be the longest blog post of you're entire life.  Consider yourself warned.:)

My goodness! Where do I even begin? Hands down, this has been the absolute hardest year of my entire life.  I have been given more tender mercies and been tested more than I thought I was even capable of handling.  First off, let me start by saying how immensely grateful I am to be a member of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints.  I rely so heavily on this gospel and without it, I'm not sure I would have been able to overcome these trials placed on me these past few months.  With every struggle and hardship I have been faced with this year it has strengthened my testimony in a way that nothing else ever has.  I know that this is Heavenly Father's way of helping me prepare and get where I need to be in this life.  Every trial has taught me a different valuable lesson and it has brought the spirit into my life more than ever before.  I know that my Heavenly Father hears my prayers and He does answer them, all of them.  Without Him, we are nothing.  He is here for us to call on him in times of need and he will never turn his back on us, ever.  He wants to help us, it is just up to us to ask and seek for His help.  I also want to testify of the power of the Preisthood and especially Preisthood blessings.  At times when I feel like all I want to do is curl up in a ball and give up and that I cannot physically or emotionally handle anything else, I know without a doubt that the Preisthood is such a blessing in my life.  It helps to reassure me that my elder brother Jesus Christ is beside me and fully aware of everything I am going through and feeling, because He himself went through it for me on the cross.  I am so thankful for the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon.  It hold answers to any and every question imaginable, we must feast on it's words and partake of it daily.

Back in May, the day before Morgan's Snow College graduation, my dad suffered a stroke.  He was on his way up to Ephraim and stopped in Kanarra to visit my Grandpa (who was just recovering from a stroke one week prior).  My dad's vision and speech started going crazy so Karen and my Grandparents took my dad to the hospital where they confirmed his stroke and made him stay overnight to monitor him.  He ended up missing Morgan's graduation.  You hear about other people's family members having stokes and heart attacks and you try and sympathize with them, but you really can't, until you actually experience it and go through it with a loved one yourself.  Reality sets in and it makes you realize that life really is so precious and should never be taken for granted, especially the little things that sometimes seem so insignificant at the moment.  Dad is still suffering the after effects and has been in and out of the hospital for test after test after test and MRI after CAT scan after MRI.  The stroke definitely has changed him and its taken a toll on our entire family. 

Day 1 in Ephraim: This is the night that I met Chris Brown at Fred's in Manti.  I overheard Chris say "wheelin in the mountains" and invited myself and Whit to tag along on their wheeler excursion up the mountain to find Chris' snowmobile.  It turned out to be the best muddin/wheelin night with the best kids ever! And I even scored me a new best friend.  Bonus!! Elder Brown just left a few weeks ago and is now serving in the New York South Mission.:)

Isn't he a stud?

Graduation Day: Snow College Bell Tower.:)

Morgan and her friends walking through the Bell Tower.

Snow College Graduate 2012 Baby!

Official Snow College Alumni, check.

Kelsey's Nursing Pinning Ceremony at S.U.U.

Saturday, May 26, 2012 changed my life forever.  I received a text at approximately 11:00 am from my roommate Morgan.  She told me that she had some bad news about a friend and needed to tell me over the phone, not over text.  My heart immediately dropped and to say I felt sick to my stomach would be the understatement of the year.  I was at work at the time and told her I would give her a call when I had a break.  She explained to me that there was an airplane crash at the STG Airport and that 4 boys were killed.  It hadn't been confirmed yet, but we were almost positive that given the plane description, it was Tanner Holt's plane.  I felt like I was in an awful dream and I just wanted to wake up and for it to be over.  I was caught up in a whirlwind of emotions and I felt empty and confused and devastated and sick all at the same time.  How could this even happen?  Why did it happen?  Why Tanner?  Why these 4 perfectly healthy, successful, good looking young boys?  I kept asking and re-asking myself a bazillion questions trying to analyze this situation more rationally.  I didn't want to believe it, I couldn't, I was in complete denial.  I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye, it just wasn't fair.  A few weeks prior to this accident I was playing with Tanner in STG and not once did it ever cross my mind that this would be the last time that I would ever see him.  It was expected, and naturally he would call me every time he came down to STG to visit.  Even if we didn't get to hang out, he still called or text me to say "Hi" and let me know he was in town.  Only a few weeks before, we were at his house, playing "Things", catching frogs in his backyard, locking the Morgans' out and watching the basketball games.  Never in a million years would I have imagined that that would be the last time I got to talk, or laugh at, or hug Tanner.  I could sit here all day and play the "What if" game, but that gets me absolutely no where and it won't bring Tanner back.  I can't try and analyze God's plan and why Tanner was called home so early.  I just have to have faith, faith that Tanner accomplished what he was sent here on earth to do and that Heavenly Father has bigger and better missions for Tanner up there.  I have gained such a greater appreciation and love for the Plan of Salvation and in knowing that families can be together forever.  This isn't the last time I will see Tanner, I know one day, we will be reunited again and when we are, I can only imagine the same old Tanner with a big grin on his face asking me, "Who do ya think you are talkin to?  I'm Tanner Holt, every guy wants to be me and every girl wants to date me."  If that's not the truth, then I don't know what is? I don't know anyone who lived their life to the fullest like Tanner did.  He accomplished more in his short 23 years here on earth than most only dream of in a lifetime.  He loved his Heavenly Father and would do anything for anyone and with a smile.  He was ALWAYS the life of the party and the most genuine boy I have ever met.  I love ya so much Tan!:) 

Tanner's funeral was the next weekend on Friday morning.  Talk about a popular boy.  So many people showed up, hundreds. Pilots and flight attendants came dressed in uniform from all across the country to honor Tanner and support his family and friends.  It truly was one of the most amazing and spiritual funerals I have ever been to.  Tanner's guy friends (40+) sang Army of Helaman, and the spirit was so overwhelming and peaceful.  I know Tanner was smiling down and so proud.  After Tanner's funeral Morgan and me went to Alex Metzger's funeral.  Metcalf Mortuary was overflowing with people so we had to sit in a side room.  His aunt put together a slide show (probably the longest slideshow ever made, I think every picture that was ever taken of Alex was in it.:).  After the funeral they had us write on balloons and then let them go. Alex's funeral was amazing, just like Tanner's, but it definitely had a different feeling and spirit about it.  Friday was such an emotional roller coaster full of spiritual highs, grieving, laughing and celebrating and remembering 2 amazing boys' lives.

Alex's funeral.

<3 In Loving Memory Of Tanner James Holt and Colby Chester Hafen [Movie]

Morgan and me decided that we needed to keep ourselves busy so we headed out to the Sand Hollow Mayhem Party after the funerals.  We met up with Bron and Jeff.  They brought their wheelers and wave runners and toy trailer.  It was seriously everything we needed right then and we had the time of our lives!  We cruised on over to the party in the cove on the wave runners where they were playing volley ball and had a DJ and the "Blob"(big blow up floaty contraption where someone would sit on the end of it and 2 or 3 people would jump from up above and the person on the end would go flailing into the air).  After riding around for a bit on the water we headed back to camp and roasted some hot dogs and pigged out on chips and kool-aid squeeze-its and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.  Mmmm.  After our feast we headed back over to the party where John Allred serenaded us with his guitar on the beach.  I was in heaven, literally.  This was the perfect end to a perfect day and I wouldn't have wanted to spend it with anyone else.  Morg and me ended up not staying the night cause we had Colby's funeral early the next morning.  

 

Wheelin at Sand Hollow.

Morg and me at Allred on the beach.:)

Sand Hollow Mayhem party people.

I think we had a moment while Allred was serenading us with his guitar.:)

 Colby's funeral was so powerful and amazing, just like the others'.  He too had a large crowd show up and 13+ family members/close friends spoke.  By the end of his funeral I was completely drained.  3 funerals in less than 24 hours is so hard both mentally and physically.  I'm not sure I have one tear left in my entire body for the next 5 years.  Nap time was a must!  But before our heads could even hit our pillows, I received a call from my sister inviting us to our neighbor's cabin later that night.  How could we pass that up?  So, Morg and me went to Wal-mart and got the necessary supplies and drove on up to K-town with Wally and Bron.  We rode the wheelers up to the cabin and made hobo dinners and then watched a scary movie.  Bad, bad idea.  None of us wanted to ride back down the mountain at 1:30 a.m. cause we were all terrified about getting snatched off the back of the wheelers.  Needless to say, we all survived, thanks to Bron who sat behind me so I didn't get kidnapped.:)

Clancy, Morg and Bron, CABIN BOUND.

Moe choppin wood for our fire!

Making hobo dinners.:)

Best sister in the world!

Cabin Crew.

Bron, Me, Morg, and Wally.

Yes, Wally did in fact drive all the way down the mountain like this. 

Way to take one for the team!:)

Clancy and Morg. 

Aren't they seriously the cutest?

Did I mention that I also got a job!  That's right, I work up in K-town 7 a.m. Saturday - 7 a.m. Sunday helping take care of Miss Maud.  She is seriously the cutest little thing and she stole my heart at hello.  We enjoy sitting out on the front porch while she eats her usual (bagel with peanut butter, coffee and a glass of water to wash down her pills) for breakfast, prune her plants and flowers in her green house, take strolls around the yard to admire her flowers and dandelions (she absolutely loves them and their "most vibrant yellow" color she says).  I usually try and catch up on my homework while she sits in her big blue chair and reads The Hunger Games on her purple nook and sips her coffee cocoa.  Her big round glasses just melt my heart every time I see her in them.  This job has been extremely trying at times and I have done things that I have never had to do before.  It has made me gain a much stronger appreciation and respect for nurses and healthcare workers that do this for a job every day.  It takes a really special person to have the kind of patience and love and care to help people like Miss Maud.  I love the fact that I only have to work once a week and I get 24 hours in one day, but it makes for a lame, short weekend.  Friday nights are cut short cause I have to be up in Kanarra early Saturday morning and then I get home on Sunday just in time to get ready for church.  But with summer school still in session, it's nice to be able to relax during the week when I get done with school everyday at 5:00 p.m.  

Miss Maud in her green house.

Backtracking a bit, Sunday, May 20, 2012 was the "Ring of Fire" Solar Eclipse.  We had a bunch of friends and family over for bbq chicken and potatoes and treatsies.  We even went over and hung out with Keith and Miss Maud.  I have never seen so many people in K-town in my whole life.  The streets were lined with rows and rows of cars for miles and miles.  People from all over the country came and brought their telescopes.  CNN and NASA even made an appearance.  Who would have thought that small, cute little Kanarraville was the "Sweet Spot."   For all those nonbelievers who I have tried to explain that K-town is in fact "God's Country," do ya believe me now?:)  Shun the nonbelievers....shun them. (That's for you Kam).

My cute mom and me checkin out all the weirdies out at Spring Creek.

All the way from Jersey folks.

Holy Solar Eclipse!

Berto aka the cook and me.

Just the beginning.

The Solar Eclipse Gang

Hog ride with Berto.:)

I have come to the conclusion that blogging is not one of my many talents.  I go months and months without blogging and then all of a sudden I get this bright idea to blog and then try and explain everything I have done in the past 60 days.  This is not an easy task folks.  Not only do I suffer from short term memory loss but I can't focus to save my life so it makes it extremely difficult to remember everything from weeks ago and it takes even longer to write down.  I am going to try and be better about blogging more often.  At least it will save you cutie pies from boring yourselves to death from reading hours worth of my so called "exciting life."  In closing I would just like to say . . . nice knowing ya, have a good life!:)

With it being National Best Friends Day I thought it might be appropriate to post some pics of my bff's.:) 

Meet my beautiful bf Whit!:)

Fiesta Fun Go-Carts!

Riding the carousel. Yay!

I have the world's best friends!

Look who came to school to be my patient.:)

Cleaning Morg's teeth.:)

One more happy patient!